I gotta be honest.
When 2020 came, I felt “meh”.
I wasn’t all that thrilled to ring in a new year let alone a new freakin' decade. I felt kinda sad and ashamed because I had so many unfulfilled dreams….So many broken promises of a better tomorrow. I kept asking myself ....."Did I just waste an entire f$cking decade?!"
Talk about self-sabotaging thoughts, right?!
I made myself take a step back to try to gain a different, more empowering perspective. The first realization was, I have been raising two kids. In fact, at the start of the decade my son, Jhett, was 4 ½ yrs old and my daughter, Kai, was only 18 months. That alone was enough. If you’re a parent you know this to be true. Nevertheless, I found myself with an intense emptiness inside.
I think one of the things that struck me the hardest is realizing that at the end of this new decade my kids will be adults. 😱 Say whaaaaat?! Time please slow down!!!! pleeease.
So I did what any spiritual seeker would do. I sobbed my eyes out……... and then I did some deep-ass soul searching to uncover the truth behind my less than excited mood. I had to! and I did it all...
To discover my truth I …..
Pulled tarot cards
Read my horoscope
And cried some more.
Here is what I discovered. Aside from raising two humans, the last decade is when I began to awaken to a MUCH higher calling. I always tell people “my soul came a-knockin' and I said yes.”
I dove headfirst into my personal development by deepening my spirituality and my connection to the Source. AND...I stepped into my entrepreneurial journey. I created a coaching business that serves people who are looking to excel in the performing arts/entertainment industry. So yeah I started a freakin' passion-based business. Phew!!!!
And then, my biggest breakthrough ever occurred. This past decade wasn’t a waste at all. It was all about me growing, expanding, and deliberately planting amazing SEEDS for a bountiful harvest in THIS decade. In other words, this past decade’s inner work was essential for my Upleveling.
It’s like playing a video game. I couldn’t level up until I mastered it. This level which required new skills and gaining new attributes. There is just no other way.
That is what this last decade was for me. I needed to master certain skills to advance to my next level. By deciding to actively create my legacy instead of leaving it up to chance, I was essentially making a solemn vow to fall madly in love with myself by living my life on purpose and MY terms.
Sounds so beautiful right?……...Trust and believe me when I say that reclaiming my life and taking back my power has been the hardest work I’ve ever done. But it’s also been the most rewarding work I have ever done.
It has required patience, persistence, consistency, vision, DESIRE, clarity, surrender, faith, trust, courage, and most of all RADICAL SELF LOVE! Oh..and...Yeah, I pretty much had to cultivate all of these attributes.
My journey has required peeling back and removing layers of SHIT that no longer serves me. Allowing myself to believe that my desires are whispers from God seeking to express love and life through me….as I am like a flower blooming in the springtime. I released decades worth of old BS conditioned beliefs that up until recently, kept me playing small like “there is something wrong with me for wanting what I want” or “Who do I think I am to want such a luxe, glamorous lifestyle? You’re artists and artists are always broke.”
I also realized that taking complete responsibility for my Life is a GREAT thing.
I freed myself from pointing fingers, placing blame on others, and giving away my power. I KNOW with 100% certainty that I am responsible for my life and my happiness. The spell of “will someone come to save me” has been broken. I am ready, empowered, and excited to save my-damn-self.
This past decade I freed myself from mental slavery and toxic codependency. I pissed off some people and left others confused. I stopped people-pleasing AND I stopped making myself wrong for everything. It’s shocking to discover how often I did that to myself.
Can I see all of that deep inner work in my physical world?! No, not exactly but those weeds are dug up and the seeds that I planted have now taken root. Lots have already sprouted with many MANY more on their way. That’s when a wave of confidence and calm swept over me. I KNOW there is a bountiful harvest manifesting before my eyes, baby! It has to. It’s a universal law. And I’m open and ready to receive the fruits of my labor.
Mostly, I’m humbled and grateful that I was able to pull myself out of my NYE rut. I’m grateful to have the tools and resources to raise my consciousness. And now?! I get to relax and flow in my divine feminine and help others raise their consciousness. Want to learn more? Contact me to set up a complimentary, exploratory call.
Happy New Year. Here’s to a bountiful harvest for us all
Much love and abundance,